Blog

June 2014

“Can’t complain, wouldn’t do any good if I did!” This seems to be the consensus of generations past who were less expressive about their emotional life.  In a way, this sentiment has been reaffirmed by self-help books which explain that negative thinking attracts negativity into one’s life and that life is mostly in one’s perspective.  When these ideas are interpreted inflexibly this can become quite counterproductive.

​ com·plain (km-pln) 1. To express feelings of pain,
dissatisfaction, or resentment... 

September 2011

Peace of mind boils down to whether we are moving “Confidently in the direction of our dreams” (Henry David Thoreau). Too often we assess our lives by how close we are to reaching our next goal. I will be the first to admit that I have fallen into the trap of  “It will be so wonderful when…”  But happiness is not in the accomplishments, not at any destination. We continuously set new goals.  Therefore as soon as we arrive, we are no longer there.  As Steven C. Hayes suggests in “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life,” it might be more useful to gauge our lives by whether we are moving in a direction which    we value (2005).  Hayes compares our values to the directions on a compass... 

December 2013

“The heart and intestine (whose surrounding cellular  structures mimic those of the brain) function as organs not only of circulation and digestion, respectively, but also of perception— hence the literalness of the expression ‘heartfelt feelings’ and ‘gut reactions’”  (Wallin, 2007).  Neurologists and psychologists dating back to the 1800’s  have argued that interoception is the neglected sixth  sense by which we construct our reality.  “This sixth sense would include balance and proprioception —  knowing your position in space— as well as the sense of hunger and thirst and internal signals from muscles…the feeling of your viscera, such as heart, lungs, and intestines—would also be included here and has been called ‘enteroception.’  Taken together, knowing the internal world can be called ‘interoception’” (Segal, 2003)...

November 2013

28,800 times each day we breathe.  Our life depends on it, though most of us rarely pay it any mind.  Perhaps we should reconsider. Simply paying attention to our breath provides numerous benefits for our physical, intellectual, emotional and behavioral health.  At the most basic level, on inhalation the breath oxygenates our blood which then distributes this oxygen to all of the organs in our body, including the brain. On exhalation the breath expels carbon dioxide, which is toxic to our body.  This miraculously happens without giving any attention at all.  The benefits intensify greatly when we focus attention on our breath and exhalations become longer and more complete.  Joseph Pilates describes this process as an internal shower in which proper blood circulation flushes the toxins out and leaves organs nourished with life-giving oxygen... 

July 2018

I’d like to share with you about an Italian-American community which gained a great deal of attention in the 1960’s.  While the neighboring town reported 79 cases of heart disease in a decade, Roseto reported 9.  There seemed to be no alcoholism, addiction or suicide and very little crime.  Two researchers at Oklahoma University decided to investigate and concluded that it was not the high fat diet and wine that protected the community from these physical and mental health ailments...  

May 2015

Our social environment is a powerful force, which we are learning impacts even the expression of our genes.  Should the social dynamics within a population of the African Cichlid (freshwater fish) be altered by the removal of the dominant male (bottom), the second dominant male (top) will increase in size by 20%, the color markings will change (check out the bottom fin) and within 24 hours it becomes the dominant male (bottom)...

​April/May 2012

Spring is a time for new beginnings.  Beginnings are inevitably endings as well.  Even when a change is for the best, it can be frightening. Change brings up inner conflict about our sense of self and our identity. Recently, I have discontinued my services at an Assisted Living Facility and am now operating at our Midtown office full-time. I struggled ​ with the decision to make this transition for over a ​ year. A dear client, whom asked that I share her ​ statement with my readers, stated during her last ​ session “Meeting with you is the closest I’ve come to ​ living” (since she lost her partner, mental health and ability to work 8 years prior)…

March 2012

 As spring approaches, it invokes images of new births and new beginnings.  Have you gotten the Spring cleaning bug yet?  That urge to get rid of all those items you have collected that no longer serve you?  You keep them around just in case you need them.  This month I say toss ’em!  This month’s newsletter focuses on one item that is certainly best left out on the curb, judgments of ‘ others that can cause us to feel separate or angry or sad.  Allow the rain showers to wash judgment away, it makes room for beautiful flowers to blossom.    

                                                 ​With Love, Melissa…

​August 2011

This is a battle in which we route for both teams.  Recently a client reported feeling he has not mastered gratitude because he wants more than he has.  A desire to grow and expand is human instinct. Without this tendency to make life better, we would not have made advancements in medicine and technology, you may not have sought that promotion or education.  Without the desire for growth, life can become stagnant. We are stuck with the same problems (see battle 1).  Yet when this instinct is not balanced with gratitude we can loose enjoyment in life and feel perpetually unsatisfied…

July 2011

“I want a better job,” “I want a closer relationship with my mother,” “I want to be free of my  depression and drinking,” “I want to make healthier food choices,” “I want my children to behave…”  Despite what on the surface appears to be a desire for change, advancement & personal growth, we intrinsically refuse it.  The single most common barrier to individuals reaching their goals is their own resistance to change.  Good or bad, change often challenges our very identity. The same rules apply whether you are struggling with resistance to change yourself, your children, employees or clients. I have to thank my clients who have provided me with endless insight related to change, which I often apply to my own life. Here are some things I have learned to consider when wondering “Why is this change thing so difficult?!?”…

September 2014

Communication for Strong, Authentic Relationships & Emotional Health

Many of my clients tell me they have difficulty communicating effectively with friends, supervisors and significant others. The steps I have outlined below have proven very effective for my clients.  Feel free to contact me if you have difficulty using them.

With Gratitude,
Melissa

1.    Own your Feelings.  Prior to communicating, figure out how you are feeling and why, to the best of your ability…

June/July 2012 by Jodie Gonzalez

I am so glad I do not ALWAYS have to do it on my own.  Did you know that one of the most common reasons female run business fail is because they don’t get assistance from others?  A common obstacle we tend to put in our own way is meeting the needs of other and not allowing anyone to help meet ours!  This month has been tough but thanks to Jodie, the Grow Heal Love newsletter still delivers this month.  Remember help is not a bad word.  Allow the people, places and things to help and inspire you this month.                              

Be easy,  

Melissa…